Crying in the Rain
by Tohda
Summary: Even after many years, Sirius still can't forget his real parents. What happens when a man shows up, claiming to be his father? sequel to "Dear Mister Jesus (An Abused Child's Prayer"


**CRYING IN THE RAIN **

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in Harry Potter. But I do own Sirius' real parents. If you've read "Dear Mr. Jesus (An Abused Child's Prayer)" then you would understand what I mean. So please read that story first before this one so you'd understand. But like I said, I don't own Harry Potter and the characters. JK Rowling does. I also don't own this song. This song, "Crying in the Rain", is by A-ha.

A/N:

For those who have read the story "Dear Mr. Jesus (An Abused Child's Prayer)", this is a sequel to that. I hope you enjoy this story as much as the other.

For those who haven't read the above-mentioned story, I suggest that you do first in order to understand this story.

To the people who reviewed "Dear Mr. Jesus (An Abused Child's Prayer)":

Silverfey

JenAnn

Thixophobia

Eilís Millen

Lindsay Davey Roses

kurtcobain4eva

Dog

HaliJade Snape

Langel

indiftsts

Angel of Ravenclaw

Thank you so much! It means a lot hearing what you think!

Now, here's the fic!

**CRYING IN THE RAIN**

**I'll never let you see **

It was late at night. The rain was pouring down harder than it ever did before. Hardly anyone could be found outside. After all, no one would like to be caught in that downpour. Even playful children chose to stay inside the comfort of their rooms instead of playing outside under the rain. That night, it seemed as though nature was giving its worst to muggles and wizards alike.

However, if one would pay close attention, he would see a dark shadow walking slowly under the heavy rain. The shadow was that of a man; a man who carries a great burden on his shoulders; a man who spent many years trying to find his identity and his son.

That man… that wizard… was Mister Elrich Black.

**  
The way my broken heart is hurting in me **

Sixteen-year-old Sirius grinned as James tripped over a still transforming Peter. Remus just watched, hiding his smile by looking down.

"Shut up, you guys!" Sirius reprimanded teasingly. "We'll be caught!"

"Easy for you to say," James grumbled, getting up and helping Peter to his feet. "I don't see you helping, Padfoot."

"You don't need my help, Prongs," Sirius said.

He hooked his arm around James'. "Come on, mate! Whaddaya say we sneak in a couple of dung beetles in the Slytherin's common room?"

"It's kind of getting old, don't you think?" James commented.

"Yah well, we haven't thought of new pranks lately," Sirius thought out loud.

"That's cause we've been busy," James said.

"Busy with what?" Sirius grinned mischievously. "Trying to get a girl's attention? A certain redhead perhaps?"

"Don't be silly, Padfoot!" James lifted his head high in the air. "That girl does not deserve a man such as I!"

"Yeah," Peter agreed.

"See?" James gestured to Peter. "He agrees, Padfoot."

"He always agrees with you," Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Don't be jealous, Padfoot," James grinned slyly.

"Why should I be jealous?" Sirius said with mock surprise. He raised his two hands up in the air. "I have plenty of people on my side. Not to mention an incredibly smart and handsome prefect on my side, right Moony?"

Remus blushed at that statement.

"Sirius!" Remus chided.

"But… but…" Sirius looked at Remus with puppy eyes.

"All right," Remus sighed, smiling in defeat. "I am on your side."

"Yey!" Sirius grinned widely. "See?"

Sirius turned to James, gesturing at Remus.

James rolled his eyes.

"Sirius, you pleaded," James reasoned.

"I did not," Sirius insisted.

"Did to!"

"Did not!"

"Did to!"

"Did not!"

"Um… guys," Peter hesitated. "Don't you think you're acting a little noisy?"

"Tell that to Prongs here," Sirius grinned.

"Yeah?" James challenged, smiling.

"Oh yeah," Sirius replied.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"Yeah?"

"Boys!" a stern voice interrupted.

"Yeah?" James and Sirius both turned to the new comer and then paled.

"P-professor McGonagall," Sirius and James both stammered. "Good evening."

"Good evening, boys," Professor McGonagall said briskly, "May I know the reason why you are in the kitchens at this late hour?"

"Um…." Peter stammered.

"Sirius was hungry, Professor," James said quickly. "He said his stomach ached so much that he can't sleep."

"I did?" Sirius looked at James.

Remus slapped his forehead.

"I didn't say that," Sirius said. He turned to Professor McGonagall. "But I really can't sleep with my stomach rumbling all the time, Professor. I didn't get to eat much during dinner."

"Hmm?" Professor McGonagall looked at them suspiciously. "All right, Mr. Black. Go tell the house elves to get you something to eat. Next time, just tell me or any other teacher if you are hungry in the middle of the night. Don't just sneak out, okay?"

"Yes, Professor!" Sirius said with a straight face.

He quickly ran to call the house elves.

**I've got my pride and I know how to hide **

Sirius munched on a pastry as he and the others headed towards their rooms.

"She wasn't fooled, you know," Remus said.

"She wasn't?" Peter asked.

"No," James grinned. "But Professor McGonagall's neat when you really get to know her. She's one great professor!"

"You only say that because you're good in her class," Peter said.

" Not really," James smirked.

"Yeah, I agree," Sirius said. "Professor McGonagall's really great. She helped me much in my first year."

"She helped me a lot, too!" Remus added. "I think she just maintains that stern demeanor so that people will pay attention in class."

"Yeah," James turned to Sirius. "Gee, mate. You got us in trouble again."

"Excuse me?" Sirius pointed to himself. "Me? You were yelling hard."

"So were you," James pointed out.

"Then you're also at fault!" Sirius grinned.

Remus shook his head.

"Hungarian Horntail," Remus said the password and the portrait opened. "Guys, lets go!"

"This is one password I could learn to like," James commented. "It's so cool!"

"Heh," Sirius smirked. "Only because you saw it once and it nearly fried the hair off your head."

**All my sorrow and pain **

Sirius looked out the window, not being able to sleep. It wasn't that he wasn't feeling well or anything. Just that…. The next day… was the death anniversary of Sirius' real mother. In a few weeks, it would be the death anniversary of Sirius' real father. After so many years, one would think that Sirius had gotten over the deaths of his real parents. However… Sirius didn't feel like that. Every year, at these times, he'd stay awake. It wasn't easy to forget the best parents anyone could ever have. But Sirius never talked about them. It was a sore topic. And if Regulus or any other student would hear Sirius talk about his real parents, it would reach Sirius' aunt and uncle, whom he now called his mother and father. And if his aunt and uncle knew… then he'd be in for another beating. So Sirius tried to call them his parents and denied that his real parents existed once in his lifetime. It was just to avoid any more beatings. But….

'I wonder…' Sirius looked at the stars, '… if you both could see how much of a coward I am now… couldn't even talk about you… couldn't refuse to call aunt and uncle my 'mother' and 'father'… I wonder, would you still love me? Would you still call me your son?'

"Padfoot?" a groggy voice called.

Sirius turned and forced a grin.

"Hey, Prongs," Sirius said softly. "Go back to sleep, antler head."

"Why are you still awake?" James ambled to where Sirius was.

"I just woke up," Sirius lied.

James looked at his best friend carefully.

"No, you didn't," James said, after his observation. "You never slept."

Sirius smiled sadly.

"I don't know why you're like this, Sirius," James started. And Sirius knew that James was serious now. James usually used Sirius' name when they were talking seriously. "But you know, Sirius, I noticed that you never sleep at this time of the year. Rather, at this day. And after a few weeks, you won't sleep again. I think Remus had noticed, too. I'm not sure with Peter since he's a little dense…"

"A little?" Sirius grinned wryly.

"Okay," James grinned. "A lot. But seriously, Padfoot. Something's wrong. But you won't tell us. You never did want to tell us your problems. We don't want to pry. But sometimes, it gets tiring to just wait for you to tell us. It gets worrisome when we just pretend that nothing's wrong; and it's a lot more worrisome when we wait for you to tell us but you don't and we see you slowly dying inside. Sirius, tell me what's wrong."

It wasn't a request. That was a command said in the kindest way possible.

"I… I can't, James," Sirius said.

"Why not?" James asked.

"Because…" Sirius started. 'Because I'm afraid to show the other side of me…'

**I'll do my crying in the rain **

"Sirius?" James probed. "Padfoot?"

"Would you promise not to tease me?" Sirius asked in a whisper.

James looked at his best friend. In all those years they've spent together after knowing each other, James had never seen Sirius in this way. Not even after the Whomping Willow incident with Snape.

"I promise, Sirius," James said. "I won't tease you."

"It's my parents," Sirius said. "I can't stop thinking about them."

"But… Sirius… I thought you hated them," James said.

"No," Sirius shook his head, looking down. "I hate my aunt and uncle. But I don't hate my parents."

"I don't understand," James said.

"The people I call parents…" Sirius took a deep breath, "are actually my aunt and uncle. Regulus, the one I call 'brother' is actually my cousin."

"Oh," James didn't know what to say. "Then what about your real parents?"

"They were killed," Sirius said. "By some unknown wizards. I was still three years old. I don't have any evidence… but I think Regulus' parents sent those wizards after us. I just don't know why they kept me alive. Uncle Alphard said that they needed me. But I don't really know."

"So tomorrow…" James' voice trailed off.

"…is the anniversary of my mother's death," Sirius continued. "And in a few weeks… my dad's."

"Anything I can do?" James asked.

"No one can help," Sirius said, dejectedly. "I mean, you can't bring them back, can you?"

James never felt more helpless than he did then.

"No, I can't bring them back," James said, after a moment of silence. "But I can help you go through this. You're not alone, Sirius. We'll help you."

"It hurts to think of them, Prongs," Sirius said in a broken voice. "But I'd feel guilty if I'd try to forget them. So I don't know what I should do."

"Accept that they're gone?" James suggested. "Sirius, you couldn't do anything but that. You just have to accept that fact. Then, it wouldn't hurt you this much."

"You don't understand, James. What hurts me is the fact that I wasn't able to save them!"

"You were three years old!" James exclaimed. "How could you help them?"

"If only I had paid more attention," Sirius said bitterly, "I could have known more spells to used. But I only knew the total body bind, the stunning spell, the disarming spell and Impedimenta. And I got in the way. They wanted to protect me. And died because of that."

"Sirius, you can't blame yourself if they loved you enough to die for you. Besides, knowing those spells when you were just three years is already good enough. More than good actually. No other three year old could do spells that easily like second nature. But you did," James said. "You tried to save them, Sirius. That already counts a lot. They just died because they wanted you to live."

"But that's why I can't handle this!" Sirius hugged himself tighter. "I would rather die than live without them! I know it's selfish but still… why couldn't I have been the one dead? It hurts to know that they died protecting me just because my stupid aunt and uncle needed me. And for what? They've been beating me up since I entered their household! Forcing me to be a good Black, forcing me to call them my mother and father and Regulus, my brother…. How will my real parents feel, James? I couldn't even refuse my uncle and aunt on that command even though I hate them. I couldn't refuse because I'm afraid to get beaten. How will my parents feel, James?"

"Is this what bothers you the most? How your parents may feel looking at you now?" James asked.

Sirius nodded.

"Padfoot," James brought Sirius' face to face his own. "Padfoot, I have never met your real parents. But I'm sure, looking at you now, they must be very proud of you. Proud because you've lived on despite the beatings that you get. Proud because you're one of the best and cleverest students in all of Hogwarts' history. Next to me, of course."

Sirius snorted at this.

"But they'll be very proud, Sirius," James continued, smiling as he made Sirius smile a little. "They'll be proud because you grew up to be one of the most beloved students, most adored classmate and the most loyal and bravest friend that anyone could ever wish for. And I think, if anything, that was what they would have wanted you to be."

Sirius smiled, a small tear forming in his eye.

"But even a person as good as you would feel life's misfortunes as well as blessings. And now, it's your time to be sad. But it's okay to show it, Padfoot," James smiled sadly. "Because one way or another, even we guys have to show our weaknesses so that we can learn to be strong."

"Then," Sirius leaned on James, sniffing as he felt James hold him close, "my real parents won't mind if I show my weakness for tonight? I-is it okay for me… to cry? Just for now?"

James nodded.

And he stayed with his best friend as Sirius let go of his façade and broke down.

A/N: Please leave a review! Please! That way, I'd know how it is….


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